When I ask people what they want in
their lives, so often they say “But I don’t KNOW what I want!”
This is sometimes because we don’t
realise that there are two stages to finding out what we want. First we need to
access our creative, imaginative brain, and allow ourselves to explore
possibilities and ideas. Then, AFTER we have done that, we bring in our
logical, analytical brain and refine it, decide what is practical, plan, and
problem solve.
Mostly when we are having difficulty
with knowing what our goals are and achieving them, one of these stages is
being missed out or not working properly.
For many people it is the creative,
imaginative stage that gets missed out. When we ask ourselves “What would I
love to do?”, immediately thoughts like these come up:
·
“That
won’t work because....”
·
“You’ll
never be able to do that.........”
·
“That
sounds like it will take too much hard work / money”
·
“I
haven’t got the skills........”
·
“Yes
but.........”
·
“I
can’t....”
Doing this is a bit like if you
planted an acorn, then, as soon as a green shoot poked above the soil, you
pulled it out because it didn’t look like an oak tree! Being reasonable and
practical is a valuable skill, but it is only half the story.
Creativity and imagination are
abilities we were all born with: just watch and listen to any small child
playing! These abilities will still be within you, whether or not you feel like
they are, and with a little bit of practise and uncovering you can remind
yourself of them. I recommend this exercise:
Give yourself a set amount of time,
an hour, a day, even 10 minutes is a good start. And promise yourself that in
that time you will let yourself be as wild and creative and impractical as you
like! Then allow your mind to wander freely, accepting, exploring and playing
with EVERY idea that comes up. Personally I like to get a big sheet of paper
and put my question in the middle, then write down whatever comes to mind all
over the sheet (like a spider diagram). You can use different coloured pens or
pencils, draw or paint your ideas, make them in clay...... I also
like to let my mind wander as I go for a walk, or even while doing ordinary
things like washing up.
All of these things help you to
access and encourage the creative side of your brain. Once you get away from
the need for things to be logical, to make sense, you will be surprised what
comes up. If at any stage your logical
brain wants to get involved, promise it that it will have time later to make
these ideas practical, and then gently but firmly put it to one side. Set aside
a different time to look at practicalities; I would recommend having a gap
between the two activities. It is good go off and do something different in
between, or to “sleep on it”, to allow your unconscious mind to process what
you have done before involving your logical conscious mind.
For further tips on answering the
question “What do you want?” see my previous blog "What do you want?"
