With everything that is going on in the world at
present, anxiety could feel like a natural, even inevitable, response. But
there is nothing inevitable about it; there is a key thinking pattern involved
in anxiety, often called catastrophe thinking, and there are simple ways to
learn to change it. Feeling anxious generally involves telling yourself a
horror story about your future ….. usually the worst possible outcome and then
some! Our brain goes something like this; if I focus on the worst thing that can
happen, I’ll be prepared for it, and if something better happens, I’ll feel
relieved and pleased. And if I keep repeating this, I will always be prepared.
But there are several reasons why
that doesn’t work:
- None
of us know what will happen in the future. When we predict the
future it’s a guess, a story that we are telling ourselves. However, by
focusing only on the worst thing that could happen, our brain ends up
believing that this is the truth, not just one of many possibilities, so
you are not giving it accurate information.
- It’s
not even the most likely outcome. Mostly you are choosing the possible or the
very unlikely, rather than the probable. 90% of what you worry about never
happens!
- You
scare yourself,
and turn on the fight or flight response. But since this story is about
the future, there is nothing to run from or fight. Instead, the chemicals
associated with the inappropriate fight or flight response just stop us
from thinking straight or making good clear decisions, stop our immune
system from working properly, and create all the symptoms of anxiety. And
if you repeat the same horror story time after time in your mind, you get
stuck in this state.
- It’s
the story that creates the anxiety, not the event. Human beings are
really good at problem solving. People are often surprised to find, when
something they fear actually happens, that they rise to the occasion and
find the inner resources to deal with it. They may even become stronger,
happier, and more resilient people as a result. We miss this ending out of
our horror stories!
What you can do to change this
pattern
Start noticing the stories you are telling
yourself, recognise them as stories rather than the truth, and ask
yourself, ’Is it helping me to focus on this?’
If the answer is no, here are some ways to learn to
tell yourself more useful stories;
- Start
by remembering times in the past when you successfully resolved a
challenging situation. What did you do? How did that feel? Notice how
creative we can be in these situations.
- Don’t
allow yourself to tell the same story more than once. Interrupt the
repetitive cycling round by insisting that you change it each time.
- Deliberately
tell yourself as many different stories about what could
happen as you can. Use your creativity! Include ones where everything goes
really well, and ones with good and difficult things mixed together, to
balance your original “worst case” scenario.
- Make
sure every
story you tell has a successful outcome, in which you rise to the
occasion, find the inner resources to handle it well, and move on to a
happy life. Go far into the future if you need to: ‘What will I feel like
in 10 years time?’ Psychologists talk about post traumatic growth; the
idea that difficult experiences can be a powerful positive impetus to move
forwards and grow.
- But
most of all, keep coming back into the present. Our
amazing ability to predict the future and problem solve can be very
useful, but it’s important to come back to the present and remember that
the future doesn’t actually exist! My favourite way of doing this is to
look at a tree:
