often amazed at the power of this one simple question.
a time I have listened to clients telling me in detail about all the things
they don’t want, don’t like about themselves, their life, or the world, the
things they want to change..... yet when I ask “So what DO you want?” I am met
by a stunned silence, as people realise that they don’t really know!
is a bit like having a filing cabinet with two drawers. The first one contains
what you don’t want, the second what you do want. Your “Don’t want” drawer is
neatly organised, you open it daily, you know exactly what is in it and can
find things quickly. Your “Do want” drawer, however, may not have been opened
for years, and when you do it is dusty and confused, you don’t know where
anything is, and you certainly haven’t got a system to tell you what is
important, and what unimportant.
you start to open your “Do want” drawer regularly, you will find out what is
there, and begin to organise it. You will also clear out any goals from years
ago that are no longer right for you, keep the goals you still like (you might
be surprised to find some lovely ones that had got buried!), and have space to
add new ones.
you are at the stage of not even knowing what you do want, do remember that
finding out is a process, and like most things it can take a little bit of time
and practise to get really good at it. The key is starting. And even if you
feel that you have a fairly good idea, it is good to do this process from time
to time, because like all housework, you need to keep doing it!
when someone asks you what you want, you will be able to find the answer
quickly and easily. And, even more importantly, you will be able to start
taking steps to achieve what you want in your life.
This two part documentary on BBC One is available for the next few days. It charts the changes that patients have made in chronic pain, high blood pressure and depression, amongst other things, using simple life changes. Well worth watching! http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b07w532p