I am often amazed at the power of this one simple question.
Many a time I have listened to clients telling me in detail about all the things they don’t want, don’t like about themselves, their life, or the world, the things they want to change..... yet when I ask “So what DO you want?” I am met by a stunned silence, as people realise that they don’t really know!
It is a bit like having a filing cabinet with two drawers. The first one contains what you don’t want, the second what you do want. Your “Don’t want” drawer is neatly organised, you open it daily, you know exactly what is in it and can find things quickly. Your “Do want” drawer, however, may not have been opened for years, and when you do it is dusty and confused, you don’t know where anything is, and you certainly haven’t got a system to tell you what is important, and what unimportant.
Once you start to open your “Do want” drawer regularly, you will find out what is there, and begin to organise it. You will also clear out any goals from years ago that are no longer right for you, keep the goals you still like (you might be surprised to find some lovely ones that had got buried!), and have space to add new ones.
If you are at the stage of not even knowing what you do want, do remember that finding out is a process, and like most things it can take a little bit of time and practise to get really good at it. The key is starting. And even if you feel that you have a fairly good idea, it is good to do this process from time to time, because like all housework, you need to keep doing it!
Then, when someone asks you what you want, you will be able to find the answer quickly and easily. And, even more importantly, you will be able to start taking steps to achieve what you want in your life.